^^

My holiday end soon. Kinda missing my school time. I learn a lot during the holiday.

Firstly, is a relationship between me and a guy make me realise i am so unmature. I realise tat any relationship through hp or online are totally not true. I learn my lesson. Believe me!!! This relationship end up with curious, sadness, and misunderstanding. However me oledi don want to correct it anymore.

This make me know tat loneliness and emptiness cannot be filled up by hoping a relationship with another person. It is kind of annoying coz it make me think alot and very mafan. So now i prefer living and enjoying my life alone and i think it will be happier.

Secondly, there is no forever friendship in reality life. If want to then hv to work hard for it. On my 21 birthday, i expect friend to wish me at least through hp and it will be enough as i think. However, those who i think is "best friend" owes forget my special day. Haiz~~~ Kinda sad tat day. Furthermore, expect present from ppl is not good at all and is need to be gived back to them. That is wat i learn. Do not expect other ppl give thing to u without me pay back to them. Is like owing something from them. Not easy to pay back.

Friendship..... Nowadays, i hv a male friend who care me a lot and owes there for me. However this time i hope i am not that sensitive anymore and hopefully we can maintain this relationship together. Coz everything will be change if let the friendship become couple. Hope tat day wont come as they say there is no male friend who will be friend with a female for a long time. They owes expect for something more.

Wah... Looks like i hv many thinking and experience. But hopefully i can start my new sem happily and continue my life journey. God bless me for all and forgive me for any sins.

爱

爱到底是什么? 没人知道真正的答案. 是不是一定要受伤过后才知道爱的痛苦? 爱是盲目的? 爱是不求回报的? 但很少人能做到这一点.

当你爱着一个心不在你那里的人, 结局是痛苦的. 当一个人突然告诉你他很爱你的时候, 你又会措手不及. 因为自己单恋过, 所以知道单相思的痛苦. 唉~ 爱很烦人, 却又让人爱不释手, 一直想接触, 接触过的人都不想再碰. 爱很奇怪!!!

我呢? 正在徘徊在爱与不爱当中, 希望时间可以给我答案. 毕竟爱错过就不想再付出, 但这对另外一方很不公平, 也不合理. 但为了双方的好处, 我不敢给任何承诺, 怕有机会让再他受到伤害. 己所不予, 忽施于人. 自己知道的痛苦, 不要别人也承受.

希望主能彰显他的荣耀, 给我指引, 我的未来都放在主的手中, 惟有靠主的恩典, 我才能幸福. "他" 是否是主为我安排的终生伴侣, 就等主的考验及带领. ^^

希望我能幸福, 也同时能带给别人幸福. 这是我衷心祈求的.

.....

Donno how to describe my feeling today. Haiz~~~ That is the worst part. Wat do i really want? Erm... Donno y burst out in tear now... Wat to say?

........... T.T

Yesterday my sister finally told me that she had a bf loo. Very glad to see my sister change in her attitude. She no longer hate me or dislike me. I really feel grate.

My mum call me this evening and i still dull.... My mum oso can feel that i am really lonely and dull loo. But i really miss my home. Now still in bad mood. Like 心情沉重, 不知如何形容我的心情.... 当一个人面对生活,没人在身边支持与鼓励,就会觉得生活很盲目... 但无论如何日子还是要过,就如耶和华一直在我身边扶持我...
Sometime too depend on someone else is not good. Coz once u lost it, u will feel very bad. It seems like i learnt another lesson yesterday... Hope my mood will be turned bright tonight. If not think i will 失眠again... In school, i seems very happy, smile brightly. But in my heart is the another way round. It looks like i want to close my gate of heart soon. Hope it wont happen without my realisation. It wil caused serious problem.
如果我又把心灵之窗关上,痛苦的只有我自己而已...但谁又能开启它呢? 我很庆幸在我心里仍然有天父在那里守候着,不让我扁体磷伤...
I will like to share leehom song to u ppl. 他唱出我的心情,心声.


我从来没想过,我会这样做.
从来没爱过,所以爱错.
我从哪里起飞,从哪里降落.



Hope u guys can enjoy this song. Is really nice!!!

Scare arr...

Today early morning wake up, then tidy up myself. After that i walk to my uncle's house to go to school. That time i din realise the cloth still there or not. Haiz~~~ I owes blur blur de. However, while i walk there really scare oso becoz is early in morning and too quiet.
Then after i reach home from school, i finally realised that my cloth are missing. Not only the cloth include my underwear... =.= Wat is going on? Is it there is someone else there is owes spying me? I not dare to think about it. I quickly take my cloth and go in the house after locking my door. I am really very scared. Me never face the situation like this.
The first thing i do is call my mum immediately. My mum juz say hv to tell my uncle and let him know. Haiz~~~ But still me very scare ar... THen i try to find someone else to make me feel better. I msg bmygirl, zhao ying.... THat is all... But still haiz... Scared till i cannot do anything coz no ne reply me.... Really feel like wanna cry. My mind is blank and i suppose plan to do my hw this afternoon. At last, do nothing again. I cannot stand the feel and fall asleep at last coz of tireness bah. I am tired of thinking those scare thing.
THis time i really strongly feel that i am alone.... ALONE!!! I really scare coz there is no one there beside me. Me really feel bad and feel helpless... Really want cry but no one will know oso. If tell my mum sure she worry about me. So i prefer overcome that bad feeling myself. Where is the one to care for me when i really need it? T.T But anyway, thanks coz lastly one of them reply me. Erm.... Thanks for be there for me,Ken. I got feel better but still haiz.... Donno how to say... is 空虚和寂寞? 害怕和无助? i donno anything liao.... Really feel bad...
Haiz~~ think tonight will burst out juz donno when. I try to control my feeling. If burst out sure nons-stop liao... T.T
Hope everything will be juz fine....

My heart burden finally let go liao!!!

Today he finds me again. Donno y he finds me. Then he starts to care about me again. Wat is he thinking actually? THis really make me mad. ME hv spent many time juz to let go then now he starts to interrupt my life again?

Then i request him, Y he treat me like this? He say juz friends mar. Then i tell him all my feeling to him. He say he donno. The most is friend only between us. And he say he tell me before many times liao. WTH? He never told me so. Then i say he never tell me so. He juz say SORRY!!!

A SORRY can let everything juz ripe off like that??? Wat a selfish guy. He juz protect himself without thinking of my feeling.

But anyway, i hv let time to cure my heart oledi. So now juz feel relieve coz i finally get the answer and know wat exactly he is thinking about me. But the side effect to me is i really cannot stand and scare to sacrifice and spent my spirit and love to another guy. I cannot stand to been hurted AGAIN!!! But without soulmate is really hard for me to continue my hard life. Coz everyone will owes like to hv someone to share the things wif, someone who can owes by side, someone who really care about us..... But where to find one....

I cannot imagine again. So i decided to let go. let go will be better for me to continue my tough uni life. About the soul mate is not easy to find one but i will not go search myself coz i believe when it comes. it will juz happen. So no need to force myself to go ahead for it.

Hope i can totally let go my burden in my heart... ^^ Wish me all the best and may GOD lead me all the way!!!

A special day!!!

Weekend again!!! Haiz~~~ Today it another day i do nothing. Things cannot be like this again.
Early morning i wake up then clean my room and downstair. Then i go out wif my friends. I hv asked my senior go out wif us. It gives opportunity for my friends to know him. Haha~~ Anyway, he is a good guy. My friends say he is a gentleman, nice-looking and looks like good husband. Haha~~ That is wat Ally says to me!!! They hv showed their interest to him. Is a good things to know more friends...
Then he sends me home. I then online to find my mum to chat. Well, i miss her a lot since we din chat for few days liao. Wah~~ THen i know a unexpected NEWS!!! My sister hv a bf oledi. So shock to hear that coz my sister owes show no interest to get a bf. Haha~~ Well everything seems well coz my family members all happy after all.
After that my mum ask me about my future bf pula. Haiz~~~ How come that easy to get one. But juz let it be bah. Cannot force myself to find one. Juz sometime it really hurt and boring alone. Juz hope someone will owes be my side when i need him. I hope can get my energy to struggle for my study from him. Coz this can call a support bah.
Anyway, hope tonight i will manage to do some works. I don want to do it last minutes.... HOpe i can do it!!! Next few weeks will be doomed coz the exam starts. So hope i can do my best to cover of my syllabus and do revision again and again.
God Bless me and wish me all the best bah!!! ^^

New here!!!

Hi, everyone. Me juz create this blog today and that is coz someone force me to do so. Haha~~~ Do u know i am talking about u? Blek!!!
Haiz... It has been a tiring week for me coz the busy uni life start now. Really lack of sleep time. T.T But still need to survive. Haha~~~ I hv to get use to drink coffee. But last night really terrible leh. After i drink a jar of coffee, i straight forward fall asleep. XlolX. Really amazing. I cannot see the effect of drinking coffee.
Well, i think for me, after i drink coffee i will go sleep. Then after i wake up, i am very energetic. Haha~~~ Last night till 2.30 am still stay awake without feeling sleepy. Until that loso guy keep loso there. Zzz... I really do nothing after i back from uni everyday. Donno Y i still hard to concentrate and to learn or do something. haiz~~~ Scare the exam will doomed and make my parents feel disappointed. Hope i can make it.
R there anyone to guild me and give me strength? Hope hv someone to owes be there and make me hv power and target to fight for. Haiz~~~ Juz wait for the fate bah. Hope God can help me and lead me the way. I really cannot make it myself. Feel stress and lonely everyday alone in my room.
Week 7 nearly gone liao... really scare the mid test. Hope can do revision without wasting my weekend time. Haiz~~~ Owes do nothing in weekend and even study my mind is remain blank. How to feel my mind with the study? Is it my mental got problem? Xlolx. Anyway, anyone who hv comment and advise for me pls drop down a word for me. Kindly appreciate. Thanks.