一个人

一个人。。。

回到家了，
原来还是一个人，
被人排挤，遗忘，责备。

我才发现，
原来我还是一个人。

看来我要习惯一个人了。。。

是我小气吗？？
是我无理取闹吗？
是我讨骂吗？

还是都是我的错，
自讨苦吃？？？

一个人伤心难过，
没人发现，
没人懂，
只被人觉得我扮可怜，无辜。

被人遗忘，
被人忽略，
即是如此的难过，
泪往心里流。。。

"金玉良言“

妈妈说：
“是普通朋友吗?”

没想到这么久后，
她既然会这样的认为。

我又该如何答呢？？
“为难啊！！！”

听到很多的不满，
那又如何？
是我的选择。

她说，
我是家里最小的。
即使我是长女。。。

什么意思呢？？？

原来我这么没用，
让他们那么担心，
让他们很容易就看穿我的心思。
甚至夸张到，
他们说很容易懂我下一句想说什么。。。

我这一个人，
做到这样的地步，
也真是没有用啊！

在学校，
一样的情形也出现，
我心情不好的时候，
同学们也都猜得到。

现在，
我在绑紧握自己，
因为我在面临挑战。

妈妈说，
她对我失望是因为对我的期望太深。

明天的事，
没有人知道，
所以我害怕，
彷徨，无助。

Busy Sunday!!!

Today,
is a busy day...

After church,
straight go for breakfast.
Then start my piano lesson,
from 9 to 2.
Very very tired..
After that,
i straight go FISHING...
Yeah~~

Within first hour,
i hit the goal...
I get a small fish...
XlolX.

So nice day today,
except the quarrel wif sis...
I admit i am a bit irresponsible,
i will correct it de,
but no need keep say me and blame me bah...
sure i fan and shout back de la..
so the quarrel begin...

Haiz...

So,
tomolo is another happy fishing day...
Hope there is another surprise too...
^^

感情世界

感情世界，
很缥缈，很虚幻。

她说，
世界上不可能有，
男人和女人是很好的朋友。

我觉得，
男人往往有许多的理由和借口，
让我拿他没办法，
而身为女人的我，
却反而不想让男人有借口抛弃我，
而往往口是心非，
让自己很辛苦，
甚至痛苦，
忍受。。。

她还说，
男人永远对外面的世界感兴趣，
所以外遇是很容易的。
已一起的，
往往觉得对方不够好，
就会觉得外面的比较好。

几十年的婚姻，
难道就这样完了？？？
我突然觉得人生无趣，
无奈，又没办法。

有的人，
明明知道对方对自己的感觉淡了，
却因为责任而继续在一起，
还结婚了。
到底结婚的定义在哪里？？？

男人往往是女人的全部，
女人却不是男人的全部。
女人以男人为中心点，
男人却不是。

突然觉得，
一切都没有意义，
没意思了。

选择。

今晚，
听了妹妹很多的金玉良言，
回想了很多。

两个人在一起，
是不会有怨言的，
是不自私的。
她坚信没有一见钟情，
所以应该要好好保护自己。

她说，
追的时候，
热情又关心，
追 到手后，
一切都不一样了，
我也认同。
我的朋友最近也面对同样的问题，
所以这个观点是对的。

她又说，
男人一定会说骗话的，
所以我要学会骗人。
她说，
我不骗人， 人人骗我，
所以要我骗人人，人人骗我。。。
很深奥的学问，

我很失败，
有点被洗脑的感觉，
觉得全部都没有意思了。

想象要相处到老，
一切都不容易，
我有点退缩了，
但是我很像回不到原点了，
问我后悔吗？？？

我真的乱了，
乱了方寸，
我已不知道该如何了！！！

唉！！！
人是没有十全十美的。。。

Choices

Choices again...
They say this short sem math 2 lecturer are better,
3 midterms,
3lecturers,
so...
will i regret???

Many things hv to be considered...
First, money,
second, i promise to work as piano teacher,
third, air tickets are expensive.

At home,
everyday scoldings can be heard,
i can stand it as some are my faults,
BUT..
can stop complaining and scolding???
Wont they feel tired of scolding and angrying???

I tired d...
i got feel like wanna give up my study,
as i cannot make it,
but HW???
Anyone can teach me hw to do???

距离

距离，
是很玄的，
让人摸不着，
也摸不透，
看不清，就像雾里看花。

距离，
让人迷茫，
让人看不清，
让人迷失方向。

距离，
让人害怕，
让人怀疑犹豫，
让人止步。

Worry...

For this short sem,
only one ppl from chemical engineering repeat math 2,
i donno my decision is right or nt,
but cannot turn back my head again.

I worry my dear leh,
sick d,
hope he get well soon,
really feel scare and bad when u get sick.
I remind u to take care d,
but still the same...
Haiz...
T.T
Pray that u will get well soon...
cant do anything other than that,
i am too far away from u.

I get well d,
listen to u to drink many water d,
u gt listen to me???
Hope gt...
Must get well plz....

Tonight u go back hometown d,
hope everything fine...

At hometown d...

Finally i back to hometown d,
busy at the first weekend,
busy till whole day no go toilet till night,
make my health's problem begin,
i feel pain...

The most pain i had experienced is...
cant meet him for two months,
hardly meet again after new semester start,
hardly hug him anymore...

My heart feels pain and bleeding,
is my own problem,
other couple maybe can tahan,
but for me cannot...
Maybe after a long long time...
then i can get use to it.

Everyday i dream of him,
everyday i feel want to hear his voice,
everyday i want to touch his face,
is juz all dream at last.

"some ppl say no need to be like tat la,
juz normal case."
for me,
i try to get use to it,
but for nw i miss him badly,
is worse than last time he go for army camp,
Y???

Coz after army camp,
we can meet anytime, anyway,
But for nw on,
we hardly do so d...

So anyone plz tell me wat can i do?
I juz cant smile without him,
Donno hw to say d,
tears owes tickling down when think too much...

nice holiday trip...

Erm,
go many place oo...
After the genting trip,
i go kelantan, and near the terengganu...

Quite nice trip,
i enjoy fishing,
bbq-ing,
go water fall...

However,
there is bad thing happen too.
Once i fell down and BANG!!!
My back still aching till nw,
donno gt effect my bond or nt,
will go check when go back hometown.

And to the water fall pula,
when i play water,
donno is too cold or wat,
i faint and luckily he hug me up,
he once wake me up,
but when i wake up,
i cant see anything,
not a single light,
i scare till shout,
never been so scared in my life,
i really thought i will be blind,
i really scared.
My family so far away,
really scared...

Then i faint again,
when i woke up,
i opened my eyes,
luckily i can finally saw they surrounding me with worry faces,
really feel sorry to depress them that time.

Other than this scary experience,
mostly i hv fun time,
fun time during fishing time at midnight,
haha...
not really fishing,
is picking up the rubbish only...
^^

If hv chance,
i will go playing around semenanjung again...
but for nw,
miss my family for sure,
haha...
going back to hometown next week,
nw still in kl sien-ing...
haha...

Result,
donno hw.....
speechless...
juz wait and see...

Happy holidayz.......
^^